We Heal Ourselves and Others by Fictionalizing Our Pain, Expressing It, and Overcoming It in Our Stories
Human beings have two core needs: to be seen and heard, which allows us to express our authentic selves
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Through my personal experiences, I have learned that vicarious trauma and PTSD are real and can affect not only those in combat but also those battling war at home.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother forced me to mature quickly and fend for myself from a young age. This has led to my struggles with controlling everything and maintaining a clean environment, stemming from the fear of being vulnerable and at the mercy of others due to past mental and physical abuse. Growing up in an environment filled with broken promises has made it difficult for me to trust others.
Emotional neglect, betrayal, rejection, and lies were all part of my upbringing, shaping how I saw myself and causing me to believe there was something wrong with me. These experiences have influenced my writing by allowing me to tap into darker elements and express them through my characters, creating emotional connections with readers without revealing every detail immediately.
The key is subtly showing the character's defense mechanisms and wounds, enticing readers to uncover their origins. The character's arc is crucial for building tension in the story, as they must face challenges that challenge their beliefs and force them to grow into heroes capable of realizing they were wrong.
As writers, incorporating our own experiences into our characters can also be a form of self-therapy, allowing us to explore situations we may not be ready for in real life. By facing our wounds through storytelling, we can begin the healing process and show that we are still deeply human despite being wounded. All it takes is courage to confront these traumas head-on.
Like in our lives, modern heroes are dynamic and multifaceted individuals with flaws and struggles that we can all empathize with. Their journeys in storytelling are often not physical quests but internal ones. It is through delving into our characters' depths and fearlessly confronting the darkness within our own stories that we can genuinely imbue them with genuine traits, truths, and battles to overcome.
It's a shared human experience to miss opportunities, take the easy way out, or let fear hold us back. As writers, we can uniquely transform these challenges into something meaningful and relatable. Our writing becomes a tool for personal growth and healing, not just for ourselves but also for our readers.
We can't deny it: We've all let opportunities slip by, taken the easy way out, or allowed our fears to overshadow our truths. As writers, we are responsible for using these experiences to heal ourselves and others through storytelling. We can ultimately conquer the pain in our stories by fictionalizing it and expressing it on paper.
This process of healing through writing can give us a sense of hope and positivity. The deeper we delve into our darkness and are willing to explore it in our stories, the more relatable and authentic our characters become. Are there any underlying family dynamics at play here? Can we trace a character's adult behavior to their childhood experiences portrayed in the plot?
The depths of our characters' souls can only be reached by diving into the darkest corners of their pasts, uncovering the buried secrets and hidden wounds that shape them into who they are today. Oedipal dynamics and other family complexities lurk behind every action and decision, constantly influencing their behavior and relationships.
As writers, we must peel back the layers of our characters' pasts, tracing the origins of their fears, desires, and needs. Like in real life, our characters have a backstory filled with defining experiences that teach them to trust, betray, believe, or doubt. These wounds leave lasting scars that dictate how they navigate life, determine their wants, and interact with others. To create genuinely authentic characters, we must delve into the messy reality of human existence and mirror it on the page.
Our wounds are not mere scars to be ignored or dismissed. They are precious gems with facets and depths that reflect the light unexpectedly. Each is sharp and jagged, a painful reminder of past hurts and traumas.
Our characters’ wounds lie at the core of their being, shaping who they are and how they navigate the world. However, it can be difficult for us writers to examine these wounds within ourselves. They are deeply personal and tender, often hidden and avoided at all costs.
Yet these wounds are powerful in driving our characters' motivations and shaping their perspectives. They are raw and intricately woven into their emotional DNA, warping how they view themselves and the world around them.
Just like a physical injury, the impact of a wound is not limited to its initial occurrence. It lingers and affects every aspect of our lives, throwing everything out of balance as we try to cope with and accommodate the pain it causes. This lasting impact is what gives our characters depth and our stories resonance.
Henya, another excellent piece here. I find myself reading your posts at least twice and in general, I tend not to do that with anything else I'm reading. I read your posts twice not because of any difficulty in understanding or comprehending what you are writing, but because it's so good. - Jim
I'm not sure what you mean by 'conquer' pain?
Why would we need an injury if we are balanced? 🤔
A physical injury, which impact is not limited to its initial occurrence, lingers and affects every aspect of our lives, because it brings back balance in life.
If we feel the pain, and allow the healing to happen, there will not be lasting impact, because the wound healed.
I share this because at the moments I injured myself, almost always I also got a glimpse of why it happened and it made me give up 'the mode' I was in, for instance 'being in a hurry'.