Disfluency, How We Infect Our Conversation & Writing with Verbal Viruses
Okay. Like, So, Umm, I wonder what you’re doing today?
Psychologist: “So, what is your biggest challenge in your marriage?”
Patient, scratching his bald spot: “Umm … well … like, you know …”
****
Most people depend on fillers when they think about how to answer a difficult question. We rely on elaborate bullshit words that make low-IQ plebeians feel inferior.
Whenever, like, I hear people, like, you know, dialoguing with bountiful verbal, like, fillers in a sentence, I start counting the number of filler words the person imparts rather than focusing on the actual message because it’s difficult to care what they have to say.
Op-eds have overtaken our vocabulary. Like, you know? discourse markers, which is like, just crazy, you know?
Disfluent speakers can be perceived as nervous, unprepared, lacking confidence, or even deceitful. In short, these verbal viruses become credibility killers.
I’m not only talking about “Uhh or umm.” Those are the most used culprits. I am talking about filler words outside of these. “You know,” “I mean,” and “right,” to name a few, are tag words used to seek confirmation from the listener or persuade them.
I, too, have many words and phrases that sneak in, like thieves in the night, under the radar, in true cloak-and-dagger fashion.
The “ums, likes, wells, and uhhhs” of vocabulary that even the most skillful writers and adept public speakers are not immune to the trap of filler words. These — not really — words might fall out of your mouth when you don’t know what to say, or you’re trying to remember something. But if you really (filler word) want to get your point across, cut out the filler words.
Many of our speeches or writings are weighed down by generally, basically, actually, kind of, really, virtually, totally, essentially, completely, practically, literally, and just.
We’re (literally) so used to (just) writing these words we may (actually) find that our writing sounds (totally) odd without them. But (generally) once you get in the habit of cutting these words, you (really) won’t miss them.
It’s simple: if one of these words is essential to the meaning of your sentence, keep it! But if not, let it go.
Too often, we inflate our writing with unnecessary filler words. Some of these paddings take the form of three or four words in the place of a single word — such as “took a step” instead of just “stepped.” But some are even trickier, and one is “that,” which seems to be a growing trend among bloggers and novelists.
“That” used as a conjunction can often be deleted.
For example, “I’m sorry I Laughed at you” is tighter than “I’m sorry that I laughed at you.”
The bottom line is if the sentence reads okay without “that,” it doesn’t need it. This is one of those obscured words our brains read right over. We’re proofreading along on the quest for those naughty interlopers, and yet we still skim right over them.
A few lucky people can speak fluently without pause. For the rest of us, however, words like “um,” “er,” and “I mean” are a standard part of our language. Every clutter word has its use. Occasionally, a little clutter may give us the casual tone or personality we want. But before you assume the sentence is perfect the way it is, try trimming a few words and reading the sentence without them.
Example:
1. There is (Omit)a rhino sitting on my head.
2. This is actually (Omit) a difficult question.
3. To (Omit) apply the latest procedure to their entire system, perhaps they should run a local test.
3A. A tighter version: We should perform a local test before applying the new technique to our system.
Grammatically, these sentences are correct, but they would be shorter if we eliminated some needless words.
Filler words, filled pauses, thinking sounds, hesitation markers, call them what you will: these little noises serve as added ingredients in our spoken word mish-mash. We all use them and observe and have opinions about them. So, what function do they serve?
A filler is a noise that allows time to think between words and sentences. They can also transmit hesitation, uncertainty, or another emotion subtly and indirectly. An interruption is a word that gives a sentence heightened intonation.
Sometimes, you might be searching your brain for the right words because you’re having a mind-blank or have been asked a particularly difficult or technical question. Equally, you might be making noises to signal you have something to say, and your brain hasn’t caught up yet.
Words ought to mean something. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get into the habit of writing common words and phrases that add no meaning.
Be aware of your writing habits to determine whether you overuse words like rather, really, of course, and… and… and… My advice is to keep a list of them on your computer and keep updating it every time you identify another word.
Congratulations. The fact that you’re reading this means you’ve taken one giant step closer to writing or speaking more fluently. And if you have habit-word tricks, please do share. We writers are always learning.
❤️Thank you!❤️
Now, go and seize the day! 🌅
Hello Henya Drescher. Thank you for a introspective post.
I used to talk and make interviews, now I write more than I talk. I had become aware for some time that while talking I said "you know" a heck of a lot. It did not necessarily diminish though.
I understand you about creating a personality. If you're building professionalism you want to be crisp. But if you are talking to your readership, who may prefer an unpretentious, casual relationship, then you might add some sloppiness, of even fake it. I lived several extended periods in non-English or English as a second language countries. Even now I speak semi-staccato, or spread out to give separation to the words, and time to absorb them. I write with commas between thoughts and don't assume the reader won't run them together. That would change the meaning. Or they would have to back up and say "what was that"? I proof read very slowly, almost aloud.
I do like to add the word "that". It often feels more complete for the sound of it, (to me). I say "maybe" a lot, and have hesitation to make a pronouncement or an assertion. I try to head off an objection, even if it is not founded or rational. (I could easily add filler words here and say, {not all that} founded).
Many conversations are held with people who are not good listeners. They have something to say too. Then if you have a pause considered too long, they may jump in. So a sound or a word "gives you the floor" for a little longer. When I was a salesman and hit a blank, I would jump up and pull a show-and-tell out of my bag. Language is also in part theater. You are putting on a show. Yes, you heighten intonation, create suspense, lower the boom to make impactful point.
I do have a lot of mind-blanks. But it was always that way from early childhood, so I don't feel like I am deteriorating. With writing, I have time, and it comes to me. I never say I forgot, I just say I recall at different time sequences. I love "rather, really, of course" - and yes I will keep a list and investigate further.
Do I need them?
.
I like, loved this. I mean like, right?
Seriously though Henya, unfortunately, I could be the poster boy for this post. Guilty as charged, on all counts. In a good way, you have forced me to examine myself and made me realize I could have just a little damn discipline when I write. Another great post.