Hello Henya Drescher. Thank you for a introspective post.
I used to talk and make interviews, now I write more than I talk. I had become aware for some time that while talking I said "you know" a heck of a lot. It did not necessarily diminish though.
I understand you about creating a personality. If you're building professionalism you want to be crisp. But if you are talking to your readership, who may prefer an unpretentious, casual relationship, then you might add some sloppiness, of even fake it. I lived several extended periods in non-English or English as a second language countries. Even now I speak semi-staccato, or spread out to give separation to the words, and time to absorb them. I write with commas between thoughts and don't assume the reader won't run them together. That would change the meaning. Or they would have to back up and say "what was that"? I proof read very slowly, almost aloud.
I do like to add the word "that". It often feels more complete for the sound of it, (to me). I say "maybe" a lot, and have hesitation to make a pronouncement or an assertion. I try to head off an objection, even if it is not founded or rational. (I could easily add filler words here and say, {not all that} founded).
Many conversations are held with people who are not good listeners. They have something to say too. Then if you have a pause considered too long, they may jump in. So a sound or a word "gives you the floor" for a little longer. When I was a salesman and hit a blank, I would jump up and pull a show-and-tell out of my bag. Language is also in part theater. You are putting on a show. Yes, you heighten intonation, create suspense, lower the boom to make impactful point.
I do have a lot of mind-blanks. But it was always that way from early childhood, so I don't feel like I am deteriorating. With writing, I have time, and it comes to me. I never say I forgot, I just say I recall at different time sequences. I love "rather, really, of course" - and yes I will keep a list and investigate further.
You have covered so much in your response. I wanted to give your words more time to digest. You are right in so many ways. I think that my article came across as too language-sanitized. "That" is okay on occasions...too many, and the reader or listener takes notice.
Conversational pauses should be respected rather than made to feel like the listener needs to intervene and rescue the moment. It's a societal flaw. Where I come from, pauses are an acceptable part of a dialogue. I find very few people are good listeners. If I may toot my own horn, I will tell you that I am a very deep listener—so deep that at times, I'm lulled to a state of lethargy, which could be good or bad, depending on the time of day.
I also "suffer" from mind-blanks since childhood. That's why, at my advancing age, I'm not too concerned about it. I think it has to do with my likes and dislikes. I find most people tiresome so I tune out a lot...which is contrary to what I told you earlier that I'm a deep listener. I am. When interested in what the speaker has to say.
As to all the other jibberish and fillers, I use them in dialogue. It adds character. And I don't think you have to be that concerned about them if used sparingly.
I also find many people tiresome. That is if they are in a deep rut, or deflecting at everything. I can take it as a challenge though, and wonder if I can get through to them with anything new or different. So I keep coming back to developing my point. After all, what is the use of only talking with people who already agree? Conversation is made of differing points of view. I don't tune them out however. I just don't go to see them. (More than tuning them out I suppose.)
I could have taken you as a "grammarian", but I didn't. I think what you said will change my writing. I'll surely be looking at it, and I won't forget your words.
I am going to test your listening, because I see some of your posts are very worthy of reply. Please give me some time to construct it.
Seriously though Henya, unfortunately, I could be the poster boy for this post. Guilty as charged, on all counts. In a good way, you have forced me to examine myself and made me realize I could have just a little damn discipline when I write. Another great post.
Hello Henya Drescher. Thank you for a introspective post.
I used to talk and make interviews, now I write more than I talk. I had become aware for some time that while talking I said "you know" a heck of a lot. It did not necessarily diminish though.
I understand you about creating a personality. If you're building professionalism you want to be crisp. But if you are talking to your readership, who may prefer an unpretentious, casual relationship, then you might add some sloppiness, of even fake it. I lived several extended periods in non-English or English as a second language countries. Even now I speak semi-staccato, or spread out to give separation to the words, and time to absorb them. I write with commas between thoughts and don't assume the reader won't run them together. That would change the meaning. Or they would have to back up and say "what was that"? I proof read very slowly, almost aloud.
I do like to add the word "that". It often feels more complete for the sound of it, (to me). I say "maybe" a lot, and have hesitation to make a pronouncement or an assertion. I try to head off an objection, even if it is not founded or rational. (I could easily add filler words here and say, {not all that} founded).
Many conversations are held with people who are not good listeners. They have something to say too. Then if you have a pause considered too long, they may jump in. So a sound or a word "gives you the floor" for a little longer. When I was a salesman and hit a blank, I would jump up and pull a show-and-tell out of my bag. Language is also in part theater. You are putting on a show. Yes, you heighten intonation, create suspense, lower the boom to make impactful point.
I do have a lot of mind-blanks. But it was always that way from early childhood, so I don't feel like I am deteriorating. With writing, I have time, and it comes to me. I never say I forgot, I just say I recall at different time sequences. I love "rather, really, of course" - and yes I will keep a list and investigate further.
Do I need them?
.
You have covered so much in your response. I wanted to give your words more time to digest. You are right in so many ways. I think that my article came across as too language-sanitized. "That" is okay on occasions...too many, and the reader or listener takes notice.
Conversational pauses should be respected rather than made to feel like the listener needs to intervene and rescue the moment. It's a societal flaw. Where I come from, pauses are an acceptable part of a dialogue. I find very few people are good listeners. If I may toot my own horn, I will tell you that I am a very deep listener—so deep that at times, I'm lulled to a state of lethargy, which could be good or bad, depending on the time of day.
I also "suffer" from mind-blanks since childhood. That's why, at my advancing age, I'm not too concerned about it. I think it has to do with my likes and dislikes. I find most people tiresome so I tune out a lot...which is contrary to what I told you earlier that I'm a deep listener. I am. When interested in what the speaker has to say.
As to all the other jibberish and fillers, I use them in dialogue. It adds character. And I don't think you have to be that concerned about them if used sparingly.
I also find many people tiresome. That is if they are in a deep rut, or deflecting at everything. I can take it as a challenge though, and wonder if I can get through to them with anything new or different. So I keep coming back to developing my point. After all, what is the use of only talking with people who already agree? Conversation is made of differing points of view. I don't tune them out however. I just don't go to see them. (More than tuning them out I suppose.)
I could have taken you as a "grammarian", but I didn't. I think what you said will change my writing. I'll surely be looking at it, and I won't forget your words.
I am going to test your listening, because I see some of your posts are very worthy of reply. Please give me some time to construct it.
.
I like, loved this. I mean like, right?
Seriously though Henya, unfortunately, I could be the poster boy for this post. Guilty as charged, on all counts. In a good way, you have forced me to examine myself and made me realize I could have just a little damn discipline when I write. Another great post.
LOL...Jim, um, like...you know? I also have to watch myself. It's a question of bringing this to the surface in a mindful way.🙂🙃